Woods, Tiffany
Position Description:
I am your translator.
I make you sound less like a scientist and more like a normal person so that people like myself can understand you. I take all those words from the hallowed halls of academia, all those erudite words that you had to learn to get your doctorate, and I throw them all away. Here's how it works:
You contact me to tell me that a journal plans to publish your paper titled "The Utilization of Oxygen and Hydrogen in the Formation of Aromatic Compounds with Pinot Noir Properties." We talk. My eyes glaze over. I pull out my hair as you use phrases like "direct-immersion solid-phase micro-extraction."
I finally say, "So what you're trying to say is that you've figured out how to make flavored water that tastes exactly like Pinot noir?"
After that, I write a press release. I send it to the media. You make the cover of Wine Spectator.
I go home and pour myself a much-deserved glass of wine. Cheers!
